Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
