Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
either way he was missing a nipple.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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