so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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