I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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