She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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