I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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