Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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