I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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