He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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