Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
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So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
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I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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