smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
