There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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