Its about making memories worth repressing
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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