bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
