But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
