It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
operation harelip BJ is a go
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
