1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
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He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
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Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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