goodnight i made you a song goodbye
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
