i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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