well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
