Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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