so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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