I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
