she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
