yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
