i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Send help, water and tortillas.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
