I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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