he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
my liver is dry heaving
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