is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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