my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
