its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
