Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize