Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize