Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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