i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
