Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
