im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
