Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
