he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize