I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
