What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
