AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
