Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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