I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
