The beer is more important than you right now.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
