I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
