You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
