I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Why is your signature on my underwear?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
