was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
