im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
