i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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