U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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