Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
