Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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