I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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