sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
