I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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